18TH FEB - PUSH-ing-on-KAR

So it's wedding season in Pushkar. This means huge celebrations with the groom tarted up to the nines riding around on a horse (also dressed as a Christmas tree) like he is the Maharajah. Every groom we have seen looks utterly terrified but this may be due to the weight of his pineapple shaped bejewelled turban. Big crowds chase him down the narrow streets carrying electric lights (powered by a wheelbarrows at the back) and then stop for a jumping dance session. When he reaches his destination which is his new brides love nest the Crowds let off one or two huge fireworks/gunshots. This goes on throughout the night. Didn't want to sleep anyway...
First trek(!?) today (sneakers and water) up to Saraswati temple at the very top of Pushkar. The kind of thing that keeps getting closer with every giant cliff step you take but it just keeps going on and on. I was crawling by the end. We stopped for a pit stop with an Indian family who asks "why you come here?" "devotion?" It may  have been the heat but it was a difficult question to come answer. The family had done this climb to pray for a better life but we were just living the dream.... M just answered "for fun" and they pushed off.
View overlooking Pushkar was insane- men with their goats herds, big hills with temples dotted in between and one big road leading to nowhere. Not going to lie the temple was a bit of a village hall type scenario (gutted if you had walked all the way just to see that) but the view was sensational.

 Much better walking down Everest than up, even had a little kid with his Bollywood ring tone keeping us entertained.
Arrived back in the centre and booked our bus onto Jaisalmer, even this you have to haggle your way to get the best price. We thought it would be a breeze though with the guy working for the official transport system on his dodgy photocopied name badge.
Collected our bags from Bob Marley and went to a post office for M to send off all her purchases home. Stayed here quite a while with the postman slash magician showing off his 'unbreakable string.' It was all very funny I was handed it as I was 'bigger' and even I couldn't break the darn thing. Different sense of humour here but as we have been warned we must 'apply and adapt.'
Whilst waiting at Mr official transport's little office we were accosted by some street kids begging for food by pinching their fingers together and lifting them to their mouths. Sarah had a pink North Face fleece she was desperate to ditch so presented it to one of the boys. He scuttled off and sat on a step to try and figure out what on earth it was-think he thought it was a tent at one point. But he then put it on and walked over to his mates like Joseph and his technicoloured dream coat, the cat that caught the cream. He was so happy it was the best thing to watch, his other mate cleverly realised there were in fact two layers to the garment so ripped out the waterproof one and paraded up and down the streets of Pushkar like Naomi Cambell.
We got lead by Mr Transport through a dark alley to his house...felt very odd being told to sit on the steps of his swanky pad to wait for the bus. When we arrived there were a couple of Germans with their backpacks who also were waiting. It was like something from Babel, I didn't like it. Not one bit.
The bus arrived nearly 2 hours later and it was full panic stations "GO GO GO 40 RUPEES LUGGAGE" I absolutely categorically was NOT going to pay this fee so jumped on the bus and into our sleeper cabin. Imagine a sort of microwave oven/battery cage where you are able to lie with a sdlign door. Quite cosy actually and we got out our sleeping bags, my bag of Haribo Han had tucked in my backpack (dreamy) and my Dvd player that my beautiful Godolphin ladies gave me (shout out.) All set for a cracker, but then the Dvd player didn't function (late to find I had not removed the plastic seal) and the bus was going at about 150 miles an hour so were getting thrown all over the place like a maraca. Plus the horn was just ludicrous, imagine a Nokia ring tone at full blast in a horn. There were two men sitting in the drivers bit, I think one was the horn blower, just had his finger on the horn button continuously. It was mental, we stopped off in random places in the desert where turbaned men in yellow with walking sticks would jump on and scream. I got pretty freaked and told M I was scared so she put her little arm round me whilst I slept with one eye open....

17TH FEB - LUSH PUSHkar

Made the biggest breakfst blunder this morning. The are big on lassi's out here (yogurt based drink with choice of fruit or salt.)Went for the papaya...think it must of been one of there many spelling errors and should of in fact said 'philadelphia (as in the soft cheese.)Downer on the morning but not sure what the sending back the food policy is like out here.
Moved from our hotel to where the tragic swedes were based (we followed their flutes) to Hotel Shree Annan- hippy backpacker dreamland and silly cheap. Welcomed in by a holy calf in flourescant beads, 2 dogs and a turtle called George all chilling in the garden courtyard. Reggae beats mashed up with some Indian trance (interesting) were playing and their were Bob Marley shrines (Aladdin and his brother were the Indian versions) hanging from the washing line and in the UV 'space room'.

Hit the Sadaar Bazaar and Laxmi market to bulk up on some pretty tragic traveller clobber (when in Rome plus at one pound a piece they are practically giving them away!) Too much colour and so many jewels both in shops and on the most beautiful women I have ever seen.

Went and sat by the ghats for the afternoon along with a whole tribe of monkeys (rabies alert.) Some were friendly some were mental. I asked Michelle what their teeth situation was like and at the moment they got their fangs out and ran towards us. Terrifying. At least we know they have a large set of gnashers.

16TH FEB - PUSHKAR - HOLY GUACAMOLE.

Got a really dodgy 4 hour bus to Ajmer to get a connecting bus to rural Pushkar (I mean the driver didn't even know where it was going.) Got dropped on the outskirts of Ajmer for another rickshaw con. Shared it with a girl called Sarah who turned out to live 20mins away form Salisbury with a sister called Hannah who was courting a boy in Nepal. Not weird at all. Ajmer was too mental, men shouting at us to get on their rickshaws, one guy just told us to RUN, pretty hard when you look like a hedgehog packed up with rucksacks on front and back. Got the local bus to Pushkar, the ticket man was not keen on us, charged us for the half seat our bags took up and refused to give Sarah her 400R change(they do not do big notes.) Bus wriggled it's way up a windy mountain and down again to the tiny town.
Stayed in a pretty average hotel but we fell for the 'view of lake, swimming pool (no water) and hot water' chat. Hotel Shree Palace. Instantly offered a 'special lassi' or a beer as Pushkar has a no alcohol and veggy only rule. They kept some beer in a safe in the cellar (sticking their finger up to the system.)
Pushkar had automatic feel of calm, less hassle but more tourists (hi white people.) Sarah bumped into 3 swedes she had met in Jaipur called Felix Bjon and something else. The most tragic hippies ever all long blonde hair and turbans, learning to play the wooden flute like MrTumnus and when they met us they namasted us. " We found her at the end of our bed...CRAZY" "I've been tripping on muscle tranquiliser for 2 days."
Went to the lakes as the sun was going down over the ghats of holy water where one man was taking a dunk. So beautiful.

Went back for supper on the rooftop of the hotel. Dal is our new flavour of the month. There was a man who I swore was John Lennon in the room next door to us playing the Beatles at full pelt, this must of been the hippy hangout when the band went to India to learn the sitar. Sarah got her guitar and performed for us for about 2 hours, our own little Alannis Morisette.

15TH FEB - JAIPUR(fect)

Woke at 4.30am for our taxi to New Delhi railway station. The images I was expecting to see at the airport were in full beaming light, not really the best wake up call (in both senses) as station floor was covered in screaming families. First train experience was great in the carriage coach section with tea and breakker provided. Window views were epic (toilet squatters aside) but early morning fog covered vast brown dn green fields and with electric orange and pink figures breaking the space.
Arrived in Jaipur to a mob of rickshaw men but one guy seemed pretty genuine and we fell for the line "I'm so sorry to hassle you I will leave you alone."
Luckily scored a place at Pearl Palace Hotel (top of L.Planet don't worry about it.) Such an incredible place like something form a festival, fairy lights everywhere and so much colour with giant elephant sculpture chairs and peacocks heads erupting out of nowhere.

A rickshaw was longingly waiting for us outside with the famous Mohammed. He showed us business cards of all his English mates and then put on Akon 'You wanna make love right now now now now' at full blast in the rickshaw as we drove through the perfectly pink city of Jaipur (painted this colour for the Prince of Wales our of respect.)

Started off at the city Palace which was beautiful, mughal architecture and a royal ceremony set up with lavish decorations and ornaments. Also first spot of a monkey just cruising the terracotta palace walls.

Then onto Jantar Mantar 'instument of calculation' opposite the palace. Jai Singh was big on his astronomy so decided to build a giant playground of sculpture to tell time, star position and eclipses. You could just imagine him going wild here with steps up to the sky and giant triangles to slide down.

Next climbed a tower (got ripped off by paying 4x the price) and after the long trek up was able to look out over the whole of Jaipur which from above look so organised but are just so chaotic.

Then onto the Maharajah's memorial temple, completely forgotten what it's called think it's city Palace but was amazing, we were the only people there and it was like a giant jewellery box.

Monkey Mountain up next, hiked a giant hill with monkeys and cows pelting at full speed down it. The fact that I didn't get my rabies jab put me a bit on edge so M took the lead on this one. Got bindied at the top which was nice. Stopped off at a floating palace where 5 storeys float beneath water, pickpockety children were all over us here so took a quick snap before Mo let me drive his rickshaw on possibly the worst leaner road ever, putting that straight on my CV.

14TH FEB - JEALY BELLY?

Went mad and got the metro from Lajput Nadar to Chani Chawk for the famous Red Fort. We got cocky with our tickets first time round and ended up at the exit so had to re-buy the ticket from the same woman to go through again. She thought it was hysterical. Very impressed by whole metro system, gave London underground a few things to think about..the woman only carriage for one was glorious with it's invisible wall (felt like a school disco boys one side girls the other) and giant pink platform that should be in a tampon advert. Arrived in Chani Chawk or chaos chawk. Street sellers, beggars, hasslers, photographs, horns, noise and constant gawps at the 2 white chicks. Walked around the fort with our friend the looser Planet ad read about how it was built by Sha Jahan who was then kindly murdered by his son, it was then taken over by the British army. Weren't overly impressed with architecture, just remnants of something that used to be beautiful and were just too hassled by the paps (Indian girls mainly) to concentrate. Did fall in love with one particular little babes who thought my finger was the bomb.

Hit the bazaars of Chandi Chawk which were beyond surreal- tiny alleyways rammed with birght cloth merchants cross legged and beggin us in. Eyes were on send it was like Diagon Alley full of magic and treasure, spice market was big highlight.  

Headed back to our flat and got cooked a giant italian meal and informed of the does and don'ts of Rajisthan from our hosts. Not sure about the avoid street food section...Delhi Belly for the South beaches YES PLEASE THIN-DIA. (jokes)





ByE Bye ENglANd. HeLLo WOrlD!!!

13TH FEB 2012: SMELLY DELHI

After emotional Heathrow farewell from the whole Haynes clang (G-Unit couldn't cross the airport entrance, so waved them off at the illegal bus/lorry/taxi drop off and trekked to Terminal 3 from there-good memory of one last Haynes car navigation row!) was onboard my Virgin Atlantic flight to Delhi. Had a spare seat next to me, perfect kick back room for my night flight but got transformed into the social epicentre for all Indian passengers. On several occasions awoke to a bindied woman or turbaned man just watching me sleep,not terrifying at all. Had my first curry alla Virgin with soggy poppadums and a masala omlette for breakfast. Not the best way to get into Indian food but was just warming up really. Think I averaged a solid 45 minutes sleep as was stacking up on nightmares about my fellow travel bud Michelle Swann not being at the aiport. The fact that Hannah had pointed out there were 2 airports in Delhi about 2 hours before my boarding time didn't help the situation one bit.
But there she was her shiney face waiting for me at passport control. People had given me code red warnings of Delhi airport, expected limbs and bodies everywhere but in fact it was delightful, too clean if anything! Followed Kate De Mont's (who we would be staying with) directions and caught our first prepaid taxi to their house at Defence Colony Market, a great pad (beds pretty solid-think they must all train for karate out here.) Braved it and got our first rickshaw to Humayuns tomb. Found the most athletic boy on his bike which turned out to have a flat tyre. Not going to lie we had no idea where we were going or how much to charge so agreed 100R (Lonely Planet ALWAYS AGREE PRICE FIRST) and he was pretty willing. It was like the scene in Finding Nemo where the fish who has no memory leads the other fish. He kept looking back at us to check it we had sussed we were just being driven in a circuit but we were both so concerned about the health and safety of the whole thing what would we know. The roads seem to have no rules, a horn acts as indicator, steering wheel and traffic light. Most traffic lights flicker red to amber so its pretty chilled. We may as well of been walking along the M4. He dropped us in the middle of a market (Lajput Nadar) which was about 40minutes in the other direction from our destination. "It just through there." LIAR. Ended up going for a sturdy autorickshaw which dropped us directly outside the gates. It was 4pm adn the sun was just going down and everything was pink. The tomb was empty and there was so much space to wander, tomb based on the Taj Mahal.

Headed onto Hazrat Nizam-ud-dih Dargh. (try saying that in a hurry) Lonely Planet made it looked too easy, crossed one of those motorway roads and walked until the stench of urine started to get stronger. Slums to our left and children and one particular man in a wheelchair with no limbs going full pelt down this motorway, he had the hots for Mikki. We jumped into an autorickshaw back to our pad. The jet lagg had kicked and that complete high to a pretty scary low freaked us out. Nothing a hard bed wouldn't sort.